What does a life coach do?
A life coach helps you get clear on what you want, see what is in the way, and take steps towards it. A coach does not tell you how to live. A coach helps you find your own answers, and then act on them.
What a life coach actually does
Most of us know more about what we want than we think. It gets buried under a busy mind, other people's expectations and old habits. A coach's work is to help you hear yourself again, and then to keep you moving.
In practice, a life coach:
- Listens closely, without judging you or hurrying you.
- Asks questions that help you think more clearly than you can on your own.
- Helps you choose a goal that is yours, not someone else's.
- Breaks that goal into steps small enough to start this week.
- Checks in on those steps, so they don't quietly slip away.
- Notices your progress when you can't see it yourself.
A coach is on your side, and a good one is also honest with you. Sometimes the most useful thing a coach does is point out, gently, that you already said what you want three times.
What a coaching session is like
A session is a conversation. With me it happens online, on Zoom, so you can join from home.
We usually begin with where you are today. Then we choose one thing to work on, and we stay with it until it is clearer. Before we finish, you choose one step to take before we talk again.
That step matters more than anything said in the session. Coaching is not something done to you. The change happens between sessions, in your own life, when you take the step you chose.
Life coaching vs therapy
This is the right question to ask. The two can look alike from the outside, because both involve talking with someone who listens. They are different kinds of help.
| Compare | Life coaching | Therapy |
|---|---|---|
| What it is for | Getting clear, setting goals and moving forward. | Assessing and treating mental health conditions. |
| Who provides it | A coach. Coaching is not a regulated profession in Canada. | A licensed, regulated mental health professional. |
| Where it looks | Mostly at today and what comes next. | Often at the past as well, to understand and work through it. |
| A good fit when | You are doing okay day to day, and you want more clarity, balance, confidence or purpose. | Your mental health is making daily life hard, or you need treatment. |
Coaching is not a substitute for medical care or mental health treatment. A coach should say so plainly, and should tell you when what you need is not coaching.
If you are struggling with your mental health, please speak with your doctor or a licensed mental health professional. If you are in crisis in Canada, you can call or text 9-8-8 at any time.
Some people use both at the same time, for different things. That is fine. They do different jobs.
Who life coaching suits
Coaching tends to suit people who are managing, but know something needs to change. You might recognise yourself here:
- Your mind keeps going, and you want it to be quieter.
- You feel stuck, in your life or in a relationship, and can't see the next step.
- You doubt yourself more than you would like.
- You keep going back to something that is already over.
- Everyday stress is taking more of you than it should.
- Life is fine on paper, and you still want it to mean more.
You don't need a big reason. Wanting things to be a little clearer is reason enough.
Who it does not suit
Coaching is not right for everyone, and it is better to know that at the start.
- If you want someone to give you the answers, coaching will frustrate you. A coach helps you find your own.
- If you are not ready to try anything new between sessions, very little will change.
- If you need medical care or mental health treatment, please start there. Coaching can wait.
How to choose a life coach
Because anyone in Canada can call themselves a life coach, it is worth choosing with care.
- Meet them first. A free session or workshop tells you more than any website.
- Ask how they work, and what a session with them is like.
- Be careful with anyone who promises results. Nobody can promise how your life will go.
- Check that they are clear about what coaching is not.
- Notice how you feel afterwards. You should feel heard, and a little clearer.
Is life coaching worth it?
It depends on two things: what you want from it, and whether you take the steps between sessions.
Coaching is worth it when you are ready to be honest with yourself and to try something small and new each week. It is not worth it if you are hoping someone else will do the changing for you.
The simplest way to find out is to try it without paying anything. That is why I run a free workshop.
Common questions
What is the difference between a life coach and a therapist?
A therapist is a licensed professional who can assess and treat mental health conditions. A life coach is not, and does not. A coach works with you on where you want to go next: your goals, your habits and your next steps.
Can life coaching be done online?
Yes. Sunil coaches on Zoom, so you can join from home, wherever you are.
Do I need a clear goal before I start?
No. Many people start with a feeling, such as being stuck or restless, and no clear goal. Getting clear is often the first piece of work.
How long does life coaching take?
It varies. Some people come with one goal and need only a few sessions. Others stay longer because they find it useful. A good coach will be honest with you about this.
Start with a free workshop
I run a free live workshop on Zoom. You can keep your camera off and simply listen. It is the easiest way to meet me, see how I work, and decide if coaching is for you.
Next date to be announced